El constructo de mi propia vida, por la visión y desos del resto... should I keep going like this? me knows it's different, but still deeply interesting.

When i begin to feel important things for another person, like a couple, i mean; it's kinda shocking to me, cos of it's hard to me to express and to reveal my true colors to people, even if they r trying to see them hardly. I guess i'll have just to let it go like it is, and watch what happens, i hope not to get too bruised this time.

To feel nothing is weird.

Who do I run of on my dreams? Would it be some sort of selfly thing? That's the first thing i came up when i thought about it. If i'm escaping from myself, then it should mean i gotta change something, well i always have known that, but what does that bossy, charming, yet gorgeous girl that opens up her legs to me? And what did i had to do? Fuck her? Runaway? By the way i felt weird even several hours after waking up... if i really woke up, i mean.

I kind of decided I won't let anyone else into my life, not even think about it, i'll just close up my feelings and heart, and try to be myself, but alone, like i was born. I'm sorta tired of deception, and it's all my fault, so... here is when i start (or try to) my ice heart state.

Sometimes I'd love to have a folder or even a whole file with my feelings arranged by date, hour and alphabetically. Maybe it could help me to know how to react properly netx time. Maybe i'll figure out one.